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The devil is in the detail. Take conditional formatting. You would have to associate one particular colour with each reference. Managing these colours would prove a major task.
So you let VBA do the managing. Say, you provide 50 colours. That would mean that you wouldn't be able to have more than 50 references without repetition. So, you would have to determine the maximum number of possible references first. So, the code would loop through the entire sheet applying colours to duplicates. The result would be a very colourful sheet but if you want that you would have to specify the colours - all 50 or 150 or 250 of them.
Less is more. Since you are reconciled to using VBA, why not produce something less playful? When you click on any row, duplicates light up. This is demonstrated in the attached workbook. It's a copy of yours, with one sheet Example(2) added. The action is on this sheet and the entire code is in that sheet's code module.
I hope this solution works for you.